Even if you like Candy Crush
Lately I have been thinking alot about the things I feel I ‘should’ be doing, but don’t. I love to meditate alone, but also using CDs but often it just seems like work to clear a space, get my computer moved so I can listen, unplug the phone…etc…I should exercise more but I don’t know how to use the DVD player, I can’t find the DVD I want etc. I want to easily create healthy meals but it is ‘easier’ to just throw in some pre packaged stuff.
Why don’t we do these things? What makes them so hard? Some might say that we ( and I ) are just being self-defeating. Our self talk is all wrong…and hey..you would be right about that…. but also…what if…what IF we took some time to set up our life, not to force ourselves to do things…but to make it EASIER to do them? Create SYSTEMS to give ourselves less reason to hold back?
This weekend I located a CD player, plugged it in, piled the meditation CD’s next to it. Cleared a perfect space in my bedroom. Made it clean and comfortable and pulled my beloved meditation cushion into it. Now it is EASY to take the few minutes I need to meditate.
What I am saying is find those ways…create those systems…pre-pack that gym bag and throw it into the trunk of your car. Take the logistical excuses away. It will only take a few minutes and I bet it will change your life.
Please let me know some of the Systems that YOU have created to live your best life. I really want to know…maybe they can help me or others!
- Everything is interesting…take a moment to admire the light fixture, the people, the food.
- Potential friends are everywhere…smile and people will smile back.
- Ask questions…you never know what you will learn.
- Be excited about the stuff you learn.
- Everything can be a game. Everything.
- Talk more than you eat. Sure you are at lunch to quell the hunger but your brain is hungry too.
- Sometimes the important stuff needs to be repeated, relived, and relished.
- Be caring. Be helpful. Be kind. Be interested.
- Assume people are wonderful, because they are.
Have more bits of wisdom you picked up from kids? Share with us in the comments! 🙂
Have an Outrageously Happy Day!
Feel free to come and hang out with me at http://www.facebook.com/OutrageouslyHappy1
©Jolie Engelbrecht 2014
Overwhelm have you frozen? Do you feel a bit like you are drowning?
Sometimes the amount of things we have to do seems completely beyond what we can handle. Our list is just too long and it seems to paralyze us. Sometimes the result is …we just shut down and do a whole lot of nothing.
“I have a million things to do…but I will get to it after one more (insert your favorite game or sitcom here!)”
It just seems easier to stare at a screen, veg out and do everything BUT the important things.
I totally get it. I have been there many times. I have also figured out there ARE ways to get yourself back on track.
I am going to share with you a 12 step method that I have used for myself and with clients with GREAT results!
- Take a deep breath. ( Yes…it really DOES help. )
- Clear yourself a space. Get rid of the pile on your table, your desk and free your mind a bit.
- Get yourself a nice blank pad of paper and pen (or a word document if that works better for you) Don’t be afraid to use some colours.
- Make a list. Make it as long as it needs to be.
- Have some big things on the list? Can they be broken down into smaller chunks? Do it!
- Beside each thing on the list, in brackets put how much time it will take ( Note: I almost always overestimate the time~set yourself up for success ! )
- Pick 3 things that are totally a priority and put a star beside them.
- What 1 item is causing you the most stress? What would it ACTUALLY take for you to accomplish it? Think about how it will feel when it is done. Can it be broken down into manageable slices? What can you do to accomplish this today?
- What is NEVER going to get done? Is there something hanging out on your list that is actually not needed anymore? Not even relevant or important? Not going to get done in the next year no matter what? Ditch it. Cross it off. Let it go.
- Add some SUPER EASY things to your list. I even put some things that are pretty automatic for me…like making the bed. I use these to create some momentum for myself. Momentum rocks.
- Get up and do something…and then use a bright colour to mark it off of your list.
- Take the time periodically to smile at the things you have checked off. Give yourself the credit you deserve for rocking your list!
A couple of hints…use the times to your advantage…only have 10 minutes? Take a glance at your list…what can be done in that time? It REALLY helps to knock off those little things. Also…do you just LOVE playing Candy Crunchers or Farm Fixers? Great…do something on the list and then reward yourself with a SINGLE round, then another item, another round and so on. It is not as effective, but at least you will have some stuff done rather than find yourself 2 hours later with nothing accomplished. Have fun!
What are your best strategies to avoid overwhelm? Leave a comment and let me know. I would love to hear from you!
©Jolie Engelbrecht 2014
I am a busy chick. I have my hands in a ton of pies. I am the first to admit I need to cull my activities a bit and it is something I am definitely working to change. Sometimes it can be completely overwhelming but most times I am happy with it even if my level of time commitments is significantly higher than most. I have a secret. Actually I have two of them.
Eliminate the sentence “I’m bored” from your vocabulary.
Yes. I am being serious. This world is chock full of beauty, amazing people and new things to learn. My mom told my when I was 10 or 11…that only boring people ever get bored. I have to say of all the Mom-isms in my world…this is the one that has stuck with me the most. I have never wanted to be boring for sure! So…the next time you are feeling bored…stop immediately. You can. Go appreciate the beauty around you. Take a walk. Pay attention to your pet. Fix one of those 10 minute things that have been nagging your subconscious. Phone a friend. Learn something new. Get ENGAGED in your life. We are not put in these bodies to sit back and let the world entertain us. We must be the ones to put ourselves in motion. Ditch the words “I’m bored” for 6 months and I can virtually guarantee that you will not go back.
Be Happy NOW…and Later too!
You can be happy when you win the lottery. I will even be happy for you. The thing is….if you are not practicing being happy NOW…even winning the lottery will be a short lived form of happiness. You are relying on OUTSIDE sources to make you happy when happiness is really an INSIDE project.
Take the time to allow joy into your life. There was a time that I thought that other people’s opinion of when I ‘should’ be happy was more important than mine. I allowed their practice of dissatisfaction to permeate my being. I became silently depressed and didn’t see a way out of it. One day I ‘woke up’ and said ‘Yes’ to myself, to my wellbeing. Even though some evenings I am running kids to 3 yes THREE different towns for activities…or I have 3 million (okay, 8 but it FEELS like 3 million some days!) projects on the go…I will still take a moment to pull over and take a picture of a rainbow. I will smile at 2 year olds in the grocery store. I will drop everything to help a friend in need. I look for opportunities to create random acts of kindness. Now, people wouldn’t blame me if I didn’t…but the thing is…you have to fill your cup daily. Many of these things take seconds. Take a moment to smell the roses, literally. Stop putting off being happy. Allow it into your world NOW.
If you adhere to the Law of Attraction then you will understand that being at a higher vibration will allow good things into your world, so you are really doing yourself a favor. If you think Law of Attraction is all hokey then consider this….If you are a happier person…will you be more relaxed? Will people find you more approachable? These are natural ways you can improve your relationships. The other thing is…it shifts your perspective. If you allow yourself to be happy…you will fight to keep that feeling. Your body and mind will crave it. You will rewire yourself to look for opportunities to be happy.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all added a few extra smiles to our day? What are your best secrets to win the Happiness Game?
©Jolie Engelbrecht 2013
The other day I was chatting to a good friend and he was upset. He was a feeling a little depressed and he was listing off the reasons why this was the way he should be. He was compiling a list of facts for himself and …he thought for me too. We like to listen and believe ourselves when we do this. It sounds real because…guess what? We said it. It MUST be true.
He was very upset because he felt that he needed some help, someone to listen…and yet…all of the people that HE helped on a regular basis didn’t seem to help him back. In his opinion, if you help someone it creates a debt and they must help you back. I said…well I am listening…and he was upset about that too. He said I do all of the listening and he never feels like he can be the one to help me.
As a Certified Life Coach I often listen to people list their RULES about how “people should act” or” life should be”. One of my jobs is to look past what they are saying and ask some pretty basic questions. One of the things I asked was…”Who made the rule that your friends must do for you EXACTLY what you do for them? “ He promptly told me that that was the way it worked. I challenged him on this type of thinking. We all have unique skills and relationships with people. If I cut his hair I sure as heck don’t want him to cut mine. Giving should be just that. Giving. Trust that it will be returned but not always in the way that you decide/think it will and certainly not always by the exact same person. We pay it forward into a big pool of giving and love and sometimes we get something that we never even knew we needed back. When I asked him some things that had surprised and delighted him, he shocked himself (and me a little) by giving me a long list. The reality was, he was receiving even more than he felt he was giving but was getting hung up because the source did not match his RULE. That conversation shook him up a bit because it shifted his reality. Since then, he has caught himself lapsing back into that thought pattern occasionally and since he recognizes it he is able to step away from it more easily and quickly each time. He is so much more relaxed since he has allowed a ton of unresolved resentments to flow away.
Are there any RULES that you have created that are holding you back from having an Outrageously Happy Life? Sometimes they are tough to see on your own since you hold them to your heart as truth. Life Coaches are a great way to get some perspective. They see your whole, wonderful self and are truly rooting for your success. I know I am.
Much Love! ~Jolie
I am busy. Some would describe me as crazy busy. I have 3 kids at home, my husband works away often, I live on an acreage with tons of upkeep and I spend 2-3 hours in my car daily. I work, I run a business and my kids are all in activities, I sit on the executive of some boards, I teach, I learn and I volunteer. I am so busy giving that I often forget myself. I have a few things that help and keep me in line. This is my go-to list but maybe something will resonate for you too.
1. Take time to meditate. This is not hours long ‘Ommmmmm’ sessions. Sometimes I get 5 or 10 minutes. I set my alarm on my phone and stop to breathe. Sometimes I pop in a cd that is a guided one for say…20 or 30 minutes. Sometimes this is in a car waiting outside a rink or a dance studio. You do not need to be in lotus position or have a ton of time. It centers me and clears my head.
2. Choose an attitude. I make a conscious choice. Who do I want to be today? Not necessarily ‘me time’ but it affects my whole day.
3. Do something that you are passionate about. Talk about it. Get everyone excited that you are doing it too. I love to do make-up for theater productions. I don’t do a ton, but when I d0, it energizes me and makes me remember who I am (beyond mummy and wife and all of those other hats that we wear)
4. Take time to see a friend. Sometimes a walk or a tea with a friend is almost a mini-vacation. Choose someone who makes you feel GREAT. Surround yourself with people who make you better, wiser, stronger… not ones who make you feel guilty or insignificant.
5. I gave permission to a couple of friends to remind me to spend some time with ME! They are my ‘guardians’. I admit it. Sometimes I need a keeper. They are totally allowed to call me out on being too centered on everyone else and give me that push I need for ‘me time’.
6. Take mini-me time. For me…an hour in Chapters with a latte and I feel like a new woman. If I am out running errands I will treat myself to a lunch like Sushi that my family doesn’t like. You have to eat anyway…why not something you love?
7. Be Grateful. I can’t tell you how easily you can change your state by listing off the things you are grateful for. The more you do it the easier it becomes. By the way…this is YOUR list, no one is listening or judging you for it…so if chocolate chip cookies come before your mother-in-law…don’t worry – I won’t tell!
©Jolie Engelbrecht 2012
So in the past couple of days the opportunities to do some good deeds have surrounded me. I have been smiling at the pictures of humans helping humans and hearing wonderful stories.
Social media is being used to spread these stories quickly. The eastern United States just suffered a terrible storm, Hurricane Sandy, and hundreds of thousands of people in New York City are without power. One guy had an idea that since he HAD power, he would share, and set up a charging station for people’s cell phones. A picture was taken and spread like wildfire. This simple, helpful idea inspired many others to do the same. They may not have had the idea themselves, but it is an easy and do-able way to help. I love the idea of posting great ideas like this and will make an effort to do it in the future.
This spirit of giving has shown up in other ways to help as well. A cousin of mine passed away at the young age of 33, leaving behind a 1 year old daughter who is deaf. Her aunt has decided to raise money to be able to get her the implants she needs and to fund all of the expenses around the travel and care of this beautiful little girl. Within minutes of posting the need for auction items I personally had 8 people offer their help. Tickets to the steak night sold out within a day.
For those dog lovers out there…I live near a small town. A gentleman I don’t know lost his beloved yellow labs. I don’t know him at ALL, but a friend of mine texted me and asked me to post asking if anyone had seen them since I have a large amount of people that see my posts. 3 people responded and 2 referred me to a closed Facebook Group they were part of and I was not. A lady had found them and posted there. These amazing connections allowed me to make a wonderful phone call to the dog’s owner and tell him where he might find his companions. Connecting them made my day.
You don’t have to actually know people to do good deeds. The opportunities surround you…all you have to do is take them.
©Jolie Engelbrecht 2012
So often I talk to you about giving random acts of kindness. Today I was on the receiving end and wow. It touched my heart.
I was at a gala this week when I got some truly devastating news.
My coat was inside so I went back in to sit for the last 15 minutes of the presentations so I could get it and get out. The perfect stranger who was sitting next to me took one look at me, asked what was wrong. I whispered the news and she nodded and watched me walk up to the front when I was called and pose in a little bit of a daze for a picture. She didn’t know me, but she took my business card.
Today she made a call that is hard to do even with your good friends and checked on me and offered a shoulder and some support. That lady has a huge heart. Wow. I am humbled by that kind of courage and ability to touch people.
I want to be like her when I grow up.
For months and months, I have been stepping on this pointy plastic piece that was poking through a hole in the rolling matt under my office chair. It hurt to step on it and I managed to do that several times a day. I would hit it and grumble and move but I never actually fixed it. It was irritating but I lived with it. I can’t express how many times I hurt my foot on it.
This afternoon I pulled out my chair, pulled up the matt and pulled the piece out. Total effort?…minimal. Total time?… about 10 seconds. 10 little seconds and it will never ever irritate me again? What the hell took me so long?
This summer my husband finally fixed a piece of rotten wood in our hayloft that had bothered and scared me for over 9 years. It took him 10 minutes to fix it and I was upset that he had left something that had caused me anxiety for almost a decade that was so easily fixed. This morning made me take a moment and think, “How am I any better? “
It got me thinking that that is probably the way it is with so many things in our life. What are the little things that we just live with, not fixing, not finishing, that are causing us pain, irritation or stress? What can we accomplish if we fix or finish some of those things? Do we even recognize them anymore?
What would life look like with less pain, irritation and stress? My answer is “Pretty Darn Good.”
So…this week my mission is to get rid of some of those things and see what happens. If I can do that in 10 seconds, can you imagine if I focused a whole hour?
I am starting my list right now. 6 things that will take me 10 minutes or less to fix or finish.
How about you?